And...

I'm back off track...

Can you say...

Back on Track

Okay, so I have been sucking. Eating bad, drinking, not working out, AND not blogging. Yesterday I already did better, aren't you proud? I actually went to the gym!! Waaa Hooooo. I had cereal for breakfast, a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch and then PF Changs for dinner. haha I KNOW PF Changs is like 87245728365982 Million calories. But I still worked out and ate less than I normally do. ha

I will do measurements Monday, I PROMISE. I do feel like I am getting back on track....

I am doing terrible. That is all

Yep I am Lame

So I DID NOT do measurements last night, well because I don't wanna. LOL I looked at the scale, it ain't pretty! So I have been eating good today, I am going to work out tonight, and I will measure next Tuesday. How's that? I WILL get back on track!

Um. Yeah about that...

Yes I have been MIA. And not eating good or working out during my sabbatical, Eek. About to head to PF Changs cause Magret's in town. I PROMISE tomorrow I will do better, and I will do measurements tomorrow. I am afraid. lol

Um need to do measurements tonight, sorry their late I was out of town. This is NOT gonna be good

Eating White Castle. I swear I will start better when I get back. Lol

Obsessed

I am seriously obsessed with food. I hate it. I am thinking about food right now, I don't know how to stop. And I'm not thinking about healthy food either. I hate this, why am I obsessed with bad food? I know it's not good for me and has led me to where I am now, but I still want it. I think I tell myself, "You'll do better tomorrow" but I have been doing that for like 6 years now, how can I stop it?

This makes me sad.

Oxygen Magazine's Trainer Talk with Kim Lyons: I’m not “just a Trainer”!

Oxygen Magazine's Trainer Talk with Kim Lyons: I’m not “just a Trainer”!: "For the first eight years of my career, when someone asked me what I did for work I would reply, “I’m just a trainer”. In my free time I’d ..."

Okay, for REAL this time.

Well this weekend was a total bust. Not as far as fun, but as far as eating healthy, working out and not drinking. lol But the weekend was so fun!

But I need to get serious. I didn't hit the gym this whole week or weekend. I ate decent during the week, but the weekend, oh lord I don't even want to tell you.. I suppose you can see from my 330am post that I had taco bell. lol

I am scared to take measurements Tuesday. Ugh

My goal this week is to make sure I eat less calories than what I burn, I need a deficit EVERYDAY. I go to St. Louis for work, it will be tough but I can do it!

Time to get serious!!!

Eating Taco Hell at 2am... NOT on the road to success. Just Sayin

Nothing like shopping for clothes to make you realize how fat you are. Ugh

My Mission

This is my mission. It will be hard, but I can do it. I've eaten good today too! Yay me!

Health Issues

This is getting more serious than just wanting to lose weight because I want to wear slutty dresses again.
I feel like crap and probably feel 10 times my age because I haven't been taking care of my body =(

I have been having weird chest pain for the past few weeks. I thought it might just be me sleeping weird or something so I kind of wrote it off. But then my breathing didn't feel clear...

So I went to the doctor yesterday... I have Costochondritis and Pleurisy. Basically the lining of my chest wall and lining of my lungs are inflamed. Which comes back to the point that I am 99% sure I have inflammatory disease of my entire body but they have no way to run test for that. Area's around my joints and lining of my body are always tender to the touch, it sucks. And my foot and knee issues with tendinitis are pretty much the same thing. So he gave me 800mg Ibuprofen to help with the pain and inflammation. But nothing else they can really do, it just has to go away on it's own. Eating better and being healthier will help this, cause fatty foods cause inflammation. So I guess this is my bodies way of telling me I need to get with the program. Not to mention the heartburn mediciation that is costing me $30 a month... I know if I ate better I could be off that as well.

Researchers link inflammation to illness in overweight people...
Inflammatory macrophages (stained brown) surround a fat cell, targeting it for destruction, within the fat tissue of a mouse chronically fed a high-fat diet.

Normally, inflammation is healthy, a part of the body's fight against infections. But when it happens in response to obesity, it can contribute to numerous ills, such as fatty liver disease, type 2 diabetes and atherosclerosis, says Anthony
Ferrante, a medical professor at Columbia whose research focuses on obesity's affects.
Researchers are beginning to understand the ways in which being overweight or obese contributes to a downward spiral of inflammation that can trigger heart disease, diabetes and other ailments.
Two recent papers help explain the connection. In one, published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, researchers at the University of California-San Francisco and the Gladstone Institute found that specialized white blood cells exposed to large amounts of saturated fats became inflamed. When the researchers genetically engineered cells to be able to hold more fat, the inflammation didn't happen.

 I'm tired of feeling like crap. It's time to get serious... everytime I stick something in my mouth I just need to think, Is this worth it? It never is...

Crap.

I ate crap yesterday. I didn't work out. I am so mad at myself. WHY? Why do I do this to myself? I am going to the stupid gym tonight. I AM. I'm gonna quit eating bad too, it just makes me lazy. UGH

Bawling... (measurements week #2)

I am bawling my eyes out right now watching the Biggest Loser. The contestants are going home to their families this week, some lost as much as 125 lbs. What an accomplishment! The families are so happy to see their loved ones healthier and happier. That's the feeling I want to have, I want people to see me and be like, "Damn, Nicki looks great!" Not "Oh man Nicole gained a lot of weight".

 

No food tastes as good as that would feel, I just need to remember that. I do a lot of mindless eating, just eating out of boredom or habit when I'm not even really hungry.

 

And can I just add that these freaking St. Jude commercials are heartbreaking!!!!!!! ugh

 

So this weekend I went out of town to visit my sister, she is so skinny!!! But she barely eats and when she does, it's healthier stuff and not such big portions. She has all nutritious food in her house, which I have learned to keep nothing but healthy food also, then I'm too lazy to go get bad food! haha So sad! We went to grab brunch on Saturday and we got nachos and tostada's, my sister makes a comment, "I never eat this crap" as I am looking down thinking, "I ALWAYS eat like this" And that is the problem!! I need to save it for specials occasions. We had a conversation and basically food is not a priority for her, and for me, it's what I look forward to everyday, all I think about. What will I eat today? Tomorrow? This weekend? I need to stop making food a priority. I definitely ate bad BUT I didn't eat near as much as I would being bored and work and snacking, so let's do measurements and see how that panned out...

 

Weight: 187     (ooh down 1 lbs. that's a miracle!!)

Body Fat: 40.9%    (down quite a bit, WOW must have been the dancing! ha)


Circumference of:

Bicep: 13.5  (same. blah)

Neck: 13  (down .5! Woot)

Bust: 42.5  (of course down .5 you will see consistent loss here. lol)

Waist: 39  (oh yeah, .5 baby, that's what I like to see!!)

Butt/Hip: 44  (same)

Thigh: 24.5 (best thighs on the East Side baby STILL lol!) down. 5 though!!

Calf: 16.2  (down a tad)

 

Well, I am on my way!!!! This is great progress, but I know I can do better, and I will....

Till tomorrow...

I just got home from Phoenix... I am beat! I totally just went crazy and reverted back to my old ways.... BUT tomorrow is a new day and I have to take measurements. We shall see...

FML.

1st night of vacation... Not so much. Drank a lot and ate a triple triple animal style from In n Out Burger....

Nachos.

Nachos. I ate Nachos for dinner. Had 2 drinks and did NOT work out. I'm still feeling good though. This weekend will be the true test, I go to Phoenix. Nothing tests you more than a vacation! I do have work out clothes packed with plans to work out Saturday morning. I will obviously be drinking, but doesn't mean I have to eat like a maniac! So wish me luck, measurements should be interesting Tuesday.

On track

I did good yesterday. Though I did not work out, I ate really good. I ended up working late and I was upset about something, so the old me "normal me" would have stopped by taco bueno and ate has many taco's as humanly possible and then went home and passed out. But I didn't. I didn't work out, but I didn't eat bad either. I ate a total of about 900 calories yesterday, that is very good. That is one meal for the old me.

I have this thing where I only like to work out when I'm in a good mood. Who does that??? Most people work out to relieve stress. Not me, I want a happy go lucky work out. lol

So I overcame stress eating yesterday. Can I overcome perfect mood workouts? My next task!

Still had a 700 calorie deficit without a workout! I'm proud.

Today was a good day! (measurements week #1)

Today is what I describe to be the perfect day, in regards to diet and exercise anyway. I mean winning the Lotto would be a PERFECT day. As for my goals, today was a great day.

What I ate:
Breakfast: Fiber One Cereal w/ fat free milk
Snack: 6 slices chicken breast lunch meat style
Lunch: Turkey burger pattie, green beans, garlic salad, and a teeny tiny amount of mashed potatoes
Snack: All Natural Peanut Butter w/ an apple
Dinner: 2 chicken fajitas, 2 oz of chicken in each with pico, salsa, lettuce in a low carb whole wheat tortilla.

Total Calories: 1220 (yay within goal!)

My favorite tortilla EVAR in this world is La Tortilla Factory. OMG you've never had? They are fantastic, sometimes hard to find however you can order online! www.latortillafactory.com Check out the awesome nutrition info on these bad boys!

Today whenever I felt hungry, I chugged a glass of
When I got off work I DID NOT want to go to the gym, ugh! I did remember my gym bag so would have been a waste not too right? Right! I was really wanting taco bell, like bad! Luckily for me I have the best friends ever. We had a girls night Saturday night and all pretty much decided none of us are where we want to be. I of course need the most work, but it's really nice to have friends with similar goals. We made a pact to help hold each other accountable. So I text two of my friends, Laurie and Kesha... I said, "Tell me why I need to go to the gym and not Taco Bell like I really want to do right now" Kesha immediately text me back and said, "Because you do not want to be the fat girl with the pretty face!" She was so right, that is all I needed to hear! Thank you Kesha! (Laurie I won't put you on blast but good job on the work out! lol)

Work-out:
Cardio: 1 hour on the elliptical interval style
Weights: Upper Body
Stretching

Calories Burned: 675

How do I know how many calories I burned you ask? Because I have my fabulous Polar Heart Rate Monitor! www.polarusa.com Can't live without that thing.

My RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate) is about 1600. That means I burn about 1600 calories a day not including working out.

Well looky there, I created a 1055 calories deficit for myself today!! I am a third of the way to losing 1 lb! lol Remember it takes a 3500 Calorie deficit to lose 1 lb. of fat! And this is why it was a good day! The stars align! Now I need 364 more days like this! lol I attribute this week to eating less and moving more, not as much as I would have liked, but hey look, a little goes a long way!

As promised... updated measurements:

Weight: 188     (ooh down 2 lbs.!!)

Body Fat: 41.5%    (down a TAD)


Circumference of:

Bicep: 13.5  (same. blah)

Neck: 13.5  (uh same again)

Bust: 43  (of course I lose an inch here, always the first place to go!)

Waist: 39.5  (oh yeah, .5 baby, that's what I like to see!!)

Butt/Hip: 44  (down and inch wooo hoo)

Thigh: 25 (best thighs on the East Side baby STILL lol!)

Calf: 16.5  (da bears)

So I lost 2 lbs., .4% body fat, 1 inch in my bust, .5 inch in my waist, and 1 inch in my butt/hip area. Not a bad week! Now just think what I could do if I actually bust my ass EVERYDAY!

This is definitely motivation! Results = Motivation. GOOD NIGHT!

Fail...

Yesterday ended up not so great for me... I had oatmeal. 120 calories. Then I got kinda hungry before lunch, I had brought some spaghetti my dad made and garlic salad, well I ate half of my spaghetti, then I found out my friends were going to lunch. For some reason I went, and we went to a Mexican place, I didn't have THAT many chips, but I could have ordered just grilled chicken with veggies etc, instead I got a chicken soft taco, beef taco w/ rice and beans. So about 1000 calories. So I just told myself no eating for the rest of the day.... right? Well I did good for the most part. Didn't eat until I got home for dinner. Had a small salad and some cilantro chicken I made, it was pretty good. I had forgot my work out clothes so I had to go home first. Well guess what, I never made it to the gym! I was soooooo tired, I thought from lack of sleep the night before. But I ended up going to bed by 9:30p and I am pretty sure I was tired from eating bad. Blah And then I still woke up late this morning. I had a million thoughts of getting up and going to the gym last night, I just didn't do it. Not a good start to the week, I did keep up with my food journal though! Total calories consumed yesterday: About 2200. Not within my goal range PLUS I didn't work out! I only burn about 1600 calories in a normal day, called my RMR Resting Metabolic Rate. So I am +630 calories for yesterday.

 

On a positive note, I did bring my gym bag today! Blah

Crap! I packed my gym bag this morning and freaking left it at home! Ugh...

Not so much...

Yeah eating good and working out, not so much. I haven't been over eating, but I did have wings, pizza, and cheese puffs last night. ha Oh not to mention the mac and cheese I had earlier yesterday. I didn't over eat on Thanksgiving which is good I guess, but I also haven't worked out since Tuesday night. Yesterday and today I just didn't do it. The night is not over however... ha.

It's time to get serious! This week my two goals, work out everyday after work and eat between 1000-1300 Calories. Damn, I go to Phoenix this weekend though, so Friday is out. But I WILL NOT eat bad while I am out of town! I will not I will not! I didn't do too bad on drinking this past weekend though, I am proud of that.

So work out Mon-Thurs and keep the calories down between 1000-1300 each day!

Measurements Tuesday!!! ugh

Alcohol and Weightloss are enemies

It's not JUST about the calories in the alcohol.

Alcohol is metabolized differently than other foods and beverages. Under normal conditions, your body gets its energy from the calories in carbohydrates, fats and proteins that need to be slowly digested in the stomach—but not when alcohol is present. When alcohol is consumed, it gets special privileges and needs no digestion. The alcohol molecules diffuse through the stomach wall as soon as they arrive and can reach the brain and liver in minutes. This reaction is slightly slowed when there is also food in your system, but as soon as the mixed contents enter the small intestine, the alcohol grabs first place and is absorbed quickly. The alcohol then arrives at the liver for processing. The liver places all of its attention on the alcohol. Therefore, the carbohydrates (glucose) and dietary fats are just changed into body fat, waiting to be carried away for permanent fat storage in the body.

Alcohol contains 7 calories per gram and offers NO nutritional value. It only adds empty calories to your diet.

Skipping a meal to save your calories for drinks later is a bad idea. Many drinkers know they'll be having some alcohol later, whether going to a bar, party, or just kicking back at home. Knowing that drinking entails extra calories, it may be tempting to "bank" some calories by skipping a meal or two. This is a bad move. If you come to the bar hungry, you are even more likely to munch on the snacks, and drinking on an empty stomach enhances the negative effects of alcohol. If you're planning on drinking later, eat a healthy meal first. You'll feel fuller, which will stop you from over drinking. If you are worried about a looming night out with friends, include an extra 30 minutes of exercise to balance your calories—instead of skipping a meal.

You might think that drinking liquor is more diet-friendly because it has no carbohydrates, while both wine and beer do contain carbs. But dieters need to watch calories, and liquor only has a few calories less than beer or wine. Plus, it is often mixed with other drinks, adding even more empty calories. Hard liquor contains around 100 calories per shot, so adding a mixer increases calories even more.

So basically drinking alcohol causes your body to store more fat.

To drink or not to drink?

To drink or not to drink, THAT is the question.

So I went out with some friends Wednesday night, you know to start off the 4 day Holiday weekend right. My first thought was, well okay I'm not gonna drink... I'll just go hang out. I have consistently been hitting the gym, eating less and eating leaner, so why ruin it with alcohol? Drinking alcohol to me is like eating bad, it's just a habit that I have. lol (runs in the family) Plus it's tough not to drink, to be honest I just don't have a good time when I'm not drinking because I feel fat and ugly and self conscious. But then the next day I feel like crap, I wanna eat bad greasy food and sit on my ass and not work out. Do you see how this vicious cycle works people?? It's time to break the cycle!

About 2 years ago I was finally successful and lost a lot of weight, 45 pounds to be exact. But let me tell you what all went into achieving this... I did not drink a SIP of alcohol for 12 weeks. I ate the same foods everyday everyday for 13 weeks. I worked out 3 hours a day 6 days a week and I had a trainer 4 of those 6 days. This my friends was the result...

Hot right??? I know! And I discovered green is one if my best colors =)
I busted my ass for 13 weeks and basically had no life for this Vegas Trip... why the sudden motivation you ask? One simple actually dumb complicated reason, my ex boyfriend was gonna be there. Yes the one that helped spiral me into this lazy version of myself. Nope I didn't do it for me, and had he not have been going, I seriously doubt I would have lost half of what I did or had the motivation and determination to get this done. It's sad! Why can't I just do it for me?? I know EXACTLY what to do, I'm just not doing it!!!!!!! Why is it so hard to just do the right thing for myself???

Obviously I felt great with my progress but guess what? It didn't last... AS SOON as I returned from this trip where I looked fabulous, felt fabulous and achieved my goal of showing my ex what he was missing out on... I reverted right back to my lazy eatin fast food 3 times a day drinkin self. And gained it ALL back. Why? Because I did it for the wrong reasons. This is a lifestyle change people! I need to make a lifestyle change! Having a trainer 4 days a week, eating the same foods and never eating out and not drinking is not realistic for me... but continuing on my current path is sure to kill me.

So I DID drink Wednesday night. I am trying to figure out how I can do this in moderation and still achieve my goals. hmmmmm

EVIL

Remember those evil work people I was referring to???

Lesson #1

So I was thinking about how great I ate yesterday until... I remembered that I mindlessly ate half of an (oh my god so delicious) chocolate croissant that the evil people up here at work left in the break room. They are all SO evil. Someone brings donuts and freaking kolache's like everyday!!!!

So Lesson #1: Keep a Food Journal. (and don't eat chocolate croissants)

Very important people! We eat without even thinking or at least I do. This is a key step in weight loss. I have a nifty spreadsheet that I use to track my caloric intake and daily exercise. (well I didn't yesterday obviously, but I am starting the beginning of next week) I MUST record every little calorie I consume!

Did you know that it takes a 3500 caloric deficit to lose 1 lb. of fat???

Not sure how many calories are in the foods you are eating? Check out my favorite site! http://caloriecount.about.com/

See I have ALL this knowledge, time to put it to good use!

Allow me to introduce myself

Hi, my name is Nicki Moore and I am on a mission to find myself. I lost my confidence, my health, and my motivation somewhere along the way and I am determined to get it back.

Let me tell you a little bit about me. I have always been athletic and in great shape for a majority of my life. I played softball for 12 years, I was the captain of my high school cheerleading squad, and played volleyball. I was a personal trainer until 2003 when I traded it in to sit at a desk on my ass ever since. Well let me back up, there is a little bit of history there that MAY or may NOT play into this... I dated a guy that I worked with at the gym, BIG MISTAKE. So when we broke up (inevitable, yes still bitter about men, looking to fix that here too, hopefully...ha) I didn't want to be at work with him and in turn let a shit ton of my clients go and had to find another job to pay the bills. I also gained this crazy love for carbs during the break up, I seriously gained like 40 pounds in one week. Carbs, we have a love hate relationship! Sooo can you see where this is all going? I freaking had a bad break up 8 years ago and apparently used that as an excuse to eat my way through the State of Texas. Time to let it go, don't ya think?

Maybe, just MAYBE I could have blamed the first year on him, but 8 years??? Jesus, this sound even worse now that I am writing it out. Lol

I have always had pretty bad eating habits, but was always on the go and young (that obviously isn't the case now *tear* wow this blog is turning into a pity party already. Note issue #8466 that needs to be fixed, haha) so it never really caught up with me. So I have basically been very lazy and continued my bad eating habits/worsened them.

What I am here to do now is take responsibility for my actions and make a change. A lifestyle change and hold myself accountable. Against my better judgement I am going to post some fat pics of me on here with my current weight AND measurements, and I will record my progress each week. I will of course update my trials and tribulations of my journey daily, I will just do my measurements weekly and will post picture updates monthly.

For those of you who didn't know me before here are some pics of what I used to look like:

Awww my Sister and I in Cali, probably about 10 years ago.

Yes that IS me on the left, hard to believe I know...

My best friend Laurie and I , I love this girl. And damn we were F'n HOT!

Yep, that's me. On my 21st Birthday, right before it all went downhill.

Alright, here we go... Now for the fat pics and measurements. Seriously can't believe I am about to do this....

Yeah, it's gotten THAT bad... and now for the measurements! YAY!

Weight: 190

Body Fat: 41.9% (you know the only real and accurate way to know your body fat is autopsy, just sayin...)

Circumference of:

Bicep: 13.5

Neck: 13.5 (hmmm that's random, my neck and bicep are the same size. Eek)

Bust: 44 (oh Snap!!)

Waist: 40 (at least my boobs stick out a little more, phew!)

Butt/Hip: 45 (put THAT in ya next song Sir Mixx Alot!)

Thigh: 25 (best thighs on the East Side baby!)

Calf: 16.5

Well, this pretty much makes me want to go eat a pint of ice cream now... Until tomorrow....

Joking Joking!!! I will continue on my journey to create LESS OF ME...

Well here goes nothin...

Today's Lunch...

Not the MOST delicious but I had it in the fridge, couldn't let it go to waste now could I?!

Lean, low-fat, fibrous, nutritious... now I know from about 8 years of personal experience, there is no way I can eat like this all day everyday. I will internally combust, be alien probed to the nearest Taco Bueno waking up with no recollection of what happened except the millions of wrappers around me. I must find a solution to satisfy my cravings yet allow me to complete my mission: LOSE 55 POUNDS!

I CAN and WILL do this!