And...

I'm back off track...

Can you say...

Back on Track

Okay, so I have been sucking. Eating bad, drinking, not working out, AND not blogging. Yesterday I already did better, aren't you proud? I actually went to the gym!! Waaa Hooooo. I had cereal for breakfast, a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch and then PF Changs for dinner. haha I KNOW PF Changs is like 87245728365982 Million calories. But I still worked out and ate less than I normally do. ha

I will do measurements Monday, I PROMISE. I do feel like I am getting back on track....

I am doing terrible. That is all

Yep I am Lame

So I DID NOT do measurements last night, well because I don't wanna. LOL I looked at the scale, it ain't pretty! So I have been eating good today, I am going to work out tonight, and I will measure next Tuesday. How's that? I WILL get back on track!

Um. Yeah about that...

Yes I have been MIA. And not eating good or working out during my sabbatical, Eek. About to head to PF Changs cause Magret's in town. I PROMISE tomorrow I will do better, and I will do measurements tomorrow. I am afraid. lol

Um need to do measurements tonight, sorry their late I was out of town. This is NOT gonna be good

Eating White Castle. I swear I will start better when I get back. Lol

Obsessed

I am seriously obsessed with food. I hate it. I am thinking about food right now, I don't know how to stop. And I'm not thinking about healthy food either. I hate this, why am I obsessed with bad food? I know it's not good for me and has led me to where I am now, but I still want it. I think I tell myself, "You'll do better tomorrow" but I have been doing that for like 6 years now, how can I stop it?

This makes me sad.

Oxygen Magazine's Trainer Talk with Kim Lyons: I’m not “just a Trainer”!

Oxygen Magazine's Trainer Talk with Kim Lyons: I’m not “just a Trainer”!: "For the first eight years of my career, when someone asked me what I did for work I would reply, “I’m just a trainer”. In my free time I’d ..."

Okay, for REAL this time.

Well this weekend was a total bust. Not as far as fun, but as far as eating healthy, working out and not drinking. lol But the weekend was so fun!

But I need to get serious. I didn't hit the gym this whole week or weekend. I ate decent during the week, but the weekend, oh lord I don't even want to tell you.. I suppose you can see from my 330am post that I had taco bell. lol

I am scared to take measurements Tuesday. Ugh

My goal this week is to make sure I eat less calories than what I burn, I need a deficit EVERYDAY. I go to St. Louis for work, it will be tough but I can do it!

Time to get serious!!!

Eating Taco Hell at 2am... NOT on the road to success. Just Sayin

Nothing like shopping for clothes to make you realize how fat you are. Ugh

My Mission

This is my mission. It will be hard, but I can do it. I've eaten good today too! Yay me!

Health Issues

This is getting more serious than just wanting to lose weight because I want to wear slutty dresses again.
I feel like crap and probably feel 10 times my age because I haven't been taking care of my body =(

I have been having weird chest pain for the past few weeks. I thought it might just be me sleeping weird or something so I kind of wrote it off. But then my breathing didn't feel clear...

So I went to the doctor yesterday... I have Costochondritis and Pleurisy. Basically the lining of my chest wall and lining of my lungs are inflamed. Which comes back to the point that I am 99% sure I have inflammatory disease of my entire body but they have no way to run test for that. Area's around my joints and lining of my body are always tender to the touch, it sucks. And my foot and knee issues with tendinitis are pretty much the same thing. So he gave me 800mg Ibuprofen to help with the pain and inflammation. But nothing else they can really do, it just has to go away on it's own. Eating better and being healthier will help this, cause fatty foods cause inflammation. So I guess this is my bodies way of telling me I need to get with the program. Not to mention the heartburn mediciation that is costing me $30 a month... I know if I ate better I could be off that as well.

Researchers link inflammation to illness in overweight people...
Inflammatory macrophages (stained brown) surround a fat cell, targeting it for destruction, within the fat tissue of a mouse chronically fed a high-fat diet.

Normally, inflammation is healthy, a part of the body's fight against infections. But when it happens in response to obesity, it can contribute to numerous ills, such as fatty liver disease, type 2 diabetes and atherosclerosis, says Anthony
Ferrante, a medical professor at Columbia whose research focuses on obesity's affects.
Researchers are beginning to understand the ways in which being overweight or obese contributes to a downward spiral of inflammation that can trigger heart disease, diabetes and other ailments.
Two recent papers help explain the connection. In one, published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, researchers at the University of California-San Francisco and the Gladstone Institute found that specialized white blood cells exposed to large amounts of saturated fats became inflamed. When the researchers genetically engineered cells to be able to hold more fat, the inflammation didn't happen.

 I'm tired of feeling like crap. It's time to get serious... everytime I stick something in my mouth I just need to think, Is this worth it? It never is...

Crap.

I ate crap yesterday. I didn't work out. I am so mad at myself. WHY? Why do I do this to myself? I am going to the stupid gym tonight. I AM. I'm gonna quit eating bad too, it just makes me lazy. UGH

Bawling... (measurements week #2)

I am bawling my eyes out right now watching the Biggest Loser. The contestants are going home to their families this week, some lost as much as 125 lbs. What an accomplishment! The families are so happy to see their loved ones healthier and happier. That's the feeling I want to have, I want people to see me and be like, "Damn, Nicki looks great!" Not "Oh man Nicole gained a lot of weight".

 

No food tastes as good as that would feel, I just need to remember that. I do a lot of mindless eating, just eating out of boredom or habit when I'm not even really hungry.

 

And can I just add that these freaking St. Jude commercials are heartbreaking!!!!!!! ugh

 

So this weekend I went out of town to visit my sister, she is so skinny!!! But she barely eats and when she does, it's healthier stuff and not such big portions. She has all nutritious food in her house, which I have learned to keep nothing but healthy food also, then I'm too lazy to go get bad food! haha So sad! We went to grab brunch on Saturday and we got nachos and tostada's, my sister makes a comment, "I never eat this crap" as I am looking down thinking, "I ALWAYS eat like this" And that is the problem!! I need to save it for specials occasions. We had a conversation and basically food is not a priority for her, and for me, it's what I look forward to everyday, all I think about. What will I eat today? Tomorrow? This weekend? I need to stop making food a priority. I definitely ate bad BUT I didn't eat near as much as I would being bored and work and snacking, so let's do measurements and see how that panned out...

 

Weight: 187     (ooh down 1 lbs. that's a miracle!!)

Body Fat: 40.9%    (down quite a bit, WOW must have been the dancing! ha)


Circumference of:

Bicep: 13.5  (same. blah)

Neck: 13  (down .5! Woot)

Bust: 42.5  (of course down .5 you will see consistent loss here. lol)

Waist: 39  (oh yeah, .5 baby, that's what I like to see!!)

Butt/Hip: 44  (same)

Thigh: 24.5 (best thighs on the East Side baby STILL lol!) down. 5 though!!

Calf: 16.2  (down a tad)

 

Well, I am on my way!!!! This is great progress, but I know I can do better, and I will....

Till tomorrow...

I just got home from Phoenix... I am beat! I totally just went crazy and reverted back to my old ways.... BUT tomorrow is a new day and I have to take measurements. We shall see...

FML.

1st night of vacation... Not so much. Drank a lot and ate a triple triple animal style from In n Out Burger....

Nachos.

Nachos. I ate Nachos for dinner. Had 2 drinks and did NOT work out. I'm still feeling good though. This weekend will be the true test, I go to Phoenix. Nothing tests you more than a vacation! I do have work out clothes packed with plans to work out Saturday morning. I will obviously be drinking, but doesn't mean I have to eat like a maniac! So wish me luck, measurements should be interesting Tuesday.

On track

I did good yesterday. Though I did not work out, I ate really good. I ended up working late and I was upset about something, so the old me "normal me" would have stopped by taco bueno and ate has many taco's as humanly possible and then went home and passed out. But I didn't. I didn't work out, but I didn't eat bad either. I ate a total of about 900 calories yesterday, that is very good. That is one meal for the old me.

I have this thing where I only like to work out when I'm in a good mood. Who does that??? Most people work out to relieve stress. Not me, I want a happy go lucky work out. lol

So I overcame stress eating yesterday. Can I overcome perfect mood workouts? My next task!

Still had a 700 calorie deficit without a workout! I'm proud.